Kecemburuan si Kakak

August 23rd, 2006 by audiyanti

Diambil dari milis SEHAT (sehat@yahoogroups.com)

Mbak Ayu,

Welcome to Sehat, dijamin nggak akan nyesel ikutan milis hebat ini,
secara informasi yang didapat benar2 ruuaarrr biasa…:-)

Wow, punya adik 1 aja udah hal yang luar biasa buat si kakak,apalagi
langsung 2, yang pastinya lebih menyita waktu dan perhatian orang2,
sudah pastinya akan menimbulkan kecemburuan si kakak.
Apalagi jika anak menginjak usia 2 tahun, yg mana dia baru mulai
mengerti dan belajar bahwa eksistensi dirinya yg ternyata terpisah
dari org lain, shg dia membutuhkan perhatian lebih dari orgtua atau
org lain.
Yg sangat penting adalah kita perlu tahu bgmn perilaku psikologis
anak usia 2 tahunan, shg kita tidak salah dalam menghadapinya.

Sebenernya jauh lebih mudah kalau kita sudah mempersiapkan si kakak,
jauh sebelum si adik nongol di dunia. Banyak hal yg bisa dilakukan.
Pengalaman saya dengan Tristan (4th 3bln) dan Nathan (14 bln), saya
sudah mengajak Ntan untuk terlibat dalam persiapan kelahiran si
adik, al dengan mengajak dia ikut ke dokter (Ntan takjub sekali liat
gambar baby saat di USG), memperlihatkan photo2/video kelahiran
Ntan, shg dia tau persis apa yg akan terjadi dg adiknya nanti.
Mengajak Ntan untuk komunikasi dg adiknya ketika didalam perut.
Ajaibnya, si adik bisa polah setiap kali denger suara si mas :-)

Ketika Nat sudah lahir, kami (saya, suami dan semua orang di rumah)
memperlakukan hal2 berikut:

1. Selalu melibatkan Ntan dalam merawat adiknya, seperti mengambilkan
popok, pampers, dll.

2. Lebih memperhatikan Ntan drpd adiknya. BUKAN sebaliknya !
Dan yg penting lagi meminta seluruh keluarga melakukan hal yg sama,
terutama eyang dan saudara lainnya.

3. Jangan terlalu sering melarangnya bermain/mendekati adiknya.
Kalau mau ditinggal sebentar saja mereka hanya berduaan, katakan,
"Babynya dijagain ya..". Dengan begitu dia merasa dipercaya dan
diberi tanggung jawab. Tapi ingat, jika anak pertama masih sekitar
2 tahunan, jangan pernah ditinggal lama, karena dia belum tahu
mana yg aman dan berbahaya bagi adiknya

4. Jangan selalu menjadikan adiknya sebagai obyek utama.
Misalnya, ketika dia bermain bola, dan bolanya hampir kena adiknya,
JANGAN mengatakan, "Jangan dekat2 baby, nanti kena baby".
Tapi katakan misalnya, "Nanti kena mama", dlsb.

5. Mengatakan bahwa adiknya sayang sama dia.
Misalnya, "Mas dicariin sama baby tuh… soalnya baby sayang sama
Mas." (buat Ntan, ini mempan bgt lho, dia bisa senyum2 bangga tiap
kali dibilang ini sambil terus nyiumin adiknya :-)

6. Bermain bersama sesering mungkin. Misalnya, memintanya
membacakan/menceritakan buku ke adiknya, menyanyikan lagu, dll.

7. Jika dia melakukan sesuatu yg memang benar2 membahayakan
adiknya, dengan tegas jauhkan dia dari adiknya, dan menasehati dg
tegas utk tidak mengulanginya. Yg penting, jangan menasehatinya
waktu dia sedang marah/nangis, tapi tunggu setelah dia tenang.

8. Jika dia melakukan kesalahan, seperti misalnya memukul adiknya,
jangan dimarahi, tapi jelaskan mengapa tdk boleh memukul

Masih banyak lagi yang lainya. Dan sejauh ini hasilnya sangat
memuaskan mereka berdua sayang satu sama lain. Malah ada saatnya yg
bisa membuat Nat tertawa hanya mas-nya seorang, kita udah jungkir
balik coba melawak, not even dapat senyuman, tapi giliran Ntan gerak
sedikit (padahal ga lucu sama sekali), Nat bisa ketawa cekikikan,
hehehe….

Memang sih, semakin besar Nat, frekwensi berkelahi semakin sering :-
) tapi yang sering terjadi justru si adik yang bikin masalah
terlebih dahulu. Kalau hal ini yang terjadi, kami berdua nggak akan
selalu minta Ntan untuk mengalah (kesian dong kalo mas-nya harus
ngalah melulu).
ooopss… maaf kalau jadinya panjang

Good luck ya mbak….

-Ria
yangjadikangensamaduaanakgantengdirumah :-)
Who_logo_only

Toddler milestone: Talking

August 22nd, 2006 by audiyanti

======== http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerdevelopment/11738.html Toddler milestone: Talking Approved by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

By the BabyCenter editorial staff

When and how it develops ?

When to be concerned ?

What comes next ?

When and how it develops ?

Talking is inextricably linked to understanding speech. By listening to others, your child learns what words sound like and how to put a sentence together. As a baby, he discovered first how to make sounds, then how to make those sounds into real words ("mama" and "dada" may have slipped out as early as 9 or 10 months). By the time he was a year old, he was diligently trying to imitate the sounds around him (though you probably heard him babbling away in a lingo that only he could understand). Now comes a period of extraordinary growth, as you watch your toddler go from speaking a few simple words to asking questions, giving directions, even telling you stories he’s made up. Here’s how you can expect your toddler’s talking to develop: 12 to 18 months

At his first birthday, your child will likely use one to five words meaningfully. By 14 months, that working vocabulary may grow to seven real words, though he may have up to 20 "words" (these may be more like sounds) that only he and someone close to him can understand. He’ll even practice inflection, raising his tone when asking a question. He might say "Up-py?" when he asks to be carried, for example. Your toddler is realizing the power of talking as a means of communicating his needs. Until he learns more words to get his ideas and desires across, he’ll likely combine his speech with gestures to show what he wants. He’ll reach his arms toward his favorite toy, for example, and say "ball." In fact, some toddlers develop a whole "sign language" of gestures to communicate with their parents. Your child might cover his face when he’s embarrassed, for example, or pound on the table when he’s mad. Don’t worry if he struggles to get his meaning across now and then. This frustration is actually a healthy sign that he’s trying hard to communicate and cares whether or not you understand him. By 16 months, your toddler will probably start making many common consonant sounds, such as t, d, n, w, t, h. Learning to make these sounds is a watershed event, one that leads to the rapid vocabulary spurt that most children go through starting around 18 months. Don’t expect to hear all these sounds in actual words yet. But you may hear him repeating them when he’s alone in his crib or playing with his toys.

19 to 24 months

By the time he’s 2, your child will understand as many as 200 words, though he’ll probably use only 50 to 75 of them on a regular basis. Many of these words will be nouns that designate common objects he uses in his daily life, such as "spoon" and "car." Between 18 and 20 months, his pace will pick up as he acquires 10 or more new words each day. If he’s especially focused on learning to talk, he can add a new word to his vocabulary every 90 minutes, so watch your language! During this phase your child may begin stringing two words together, making basic sentences such as "Carry me." Since his grammar skills are still undeveloped, you’ll often hear odd constructions such as "Me go." He’s understood for some time that he needs language, and he’ll attempt to name new objects as he observes the world around him. He may overextend the words he already knows, though, so that all new animals are called "dogs." Starting around his second birthday, your child will begin using three-word sentences and singing simple tunes. As his sense of self matures, he’ll use "me" to refer to himself, and he’s likely to tell you what he likes and doesn’t, what he thinks, and what he feels. You may hear him say, "David want juice," or "Baby throw," for instance. (Pronouns are tricky, so you may catch him avoiding them.) 25 to 30 months Now that he has a bigger vocabulary, your toddler will begin to experiment with modulation. For a while he may yell when he means to speak normally and whisper softly when answering a question, but he’ll find the appropriate volume soon enough. He’s also starting to get the hang of pronouns, such as "I," "me," and "you." Between ages 2 and 3, his working vocabulary will increase to up to 300 words ? and he’ll understand up to 900 words. He’ll string nouns and verbs together to form complete but simple sentences, such as "I go now." He’ll even get the hang of speaking about events that happened in the past. He may not quite understand the concept of irregular forms, though, so you’ll hear expressions like "I runned" or "I swimmed and plurals like "mouses." Sure, it’s cute, but it also shows that he’s picking up on the basic rules of grammar (that you add an "ed" to a word if it happened yesterday, for example, and an "s" or "es" to make things plural). At this age, your child will start answering simple questions, such as "Who is at the table?" and "Where are your shoes?" If you notice that he consistently echoes your questions rather than trying to answer them, bring it up with your pediatrician since such behavior can be an early sign of a developmental problem such as autism. 31 to 36 months By the time he turns 3, your child will be a more sophisticated talker. He’ll be able to carry on a sustained conversation and adjust his tone, speech patterns, and vocabulary to fit the person he’s talking to in a particular situation. For instance, he’ll often use simpler words with a peer ("I need go potty") but more complex constructions with you ("I need to go to the bathroom"). By now, other adults, including strangers, should be able to understand almost everything he says, which means you’ll have to do less translating. He’ll even be a pro at saying his first and last name and his age ? and will readily oblige when asked. When to be concerned You’re the best person to gauge your child’s speech development. While some kids start forming words at 9 months, many wait until they’re 13 or 14 months. If your child isn’t saying any words by 15 months (including "mama" or "dada"), didn’t babble before his first birthday, is unable to point to any body parts, or you still can’t understand a word he’s saying, discuss the possibility of a language delay with your pediatrician.

If by age 2 your child rarely attempts to speak or imitate others or just seems totally uninterested in talking, he may have a speech problem or hearing problem. If by age 3 your child continues to drop consonants (saying "ea-ut" for "peanut," for example) or substituting a sound or syllable for another (saying "waining" instead of "raining"), has difficulty naming most household objects, or hasn’t started to use two- or three-word phrases, talk with your pediatrician about the need for further evaluation such as a hearing test, speech evaluation or developmental assessment. It’s normal for a child to go through a phase of stuttering, especially when his ability to communicate is so rapidly expanding. Sometimes he’ll be so excited to tell you what’s on his mind that he can’t get the words out fast enough. But if his stuttering continues for more than six months, or if it’s bad enough that he tenses his jaw or grimaces in an effort to get the words out, talk with his doctor about it. What comes next As your child grows, he’ll become more of a chatterbox. There might be days when you long for those peaceful days of speechlessness, but for the most part, you’ll delight in his play-by-plays of what happened at preschool, what he thinks about dinosaurs, and his descriptions of what his best friend likes to eat. By age 4, your child will use about 800 words. He’ll begin to understand and use correct tenses, along with the words "won’t" and "can’t." Oh, and get ready for every why, what, and who question under the sun.

Warning Signs of a Language/Communication Developmental Delay

August 22nd, 2006 by audiyanti

http://www.babycenter.com/general/toddler/toddlerdevelopment/12293.html

Warning Signs of a Language/Communication Developmental Delay

Children learn language at different rates, but most follow a general timeline (though preemies may be off schedule by a few weeks or months). If your child doesn’t seem to be meeting communication milestones within several weeks of the average, though, talk to her pediatrician. It may be nothing, but if your child is delayed in some way, recognizing and treating the problem early will benefit her language and learning skills greatly in the long run. Keep in mind that the timetable for language development is broad, and your child may run into small roadblocks along the way. You may find your toddler repeating a word several times in the middle of a sentence as a way of holding your attention as he formulates the rest of his thought. (This is not the same thing as stuttering.) As long as she can speak clearly by the time she’s ready for first grade, your child’s on track. But as a general rule, trust your instincts. If something seems wrong to you, ask your pediatrician about it or call a speech therapist or pathologist or your county’s early intervention program for an evaluation. After all, you know your child best. The following are possible warning signs of a language delay. Feel free to print out this form for a handy reference. Call your child’s pediatrician or a speech pathologist if your child:

12 to 18 months

at 12 months, doesn’t use gestures such as waving or shaking her head

by 12 months, isn’t practicing using at least a couple of consonants (c, b, etc.)

by 12 months, isn’t somehow communicating to you when she needs help with something

at 15 months, doesn’t understand and respond to words such as "no" and "bye-bye" by 15 months, can’t say at least one to three words

by 15 months, doesn’t say "mama" or "dada"

at 16 months, doesn’t point to body parts when asked

at 18 months, isn’t saying at least six to 10 words

19 to 24 months

by 19 to 20 months, isn’t pointing out things of interest, such as a bird or airplane overhead

by 20 months, isn’t making at least six consonant sounds

at 21 months, doesn’t respond to simple directions

by 21 months, doesn’t pretend with her dolls or herself (brushing her hair, feeding her doll, etc.)

by 24 months, doesn’t imitate actions or words of others

by 24 months, can’t point to named pictures in a book at 24 months, can’t join two words together

at 24 months, doesn’t know the function of common household objects ? toothbrush, telephone, fork, etc.

25 to 36 months

at 26 months, uses no two-word simple sentences

at 30 months, can’t name at least three body parts

at 30 months, can’t be understood by anyone in her family

by 32 months, has difficulty singing fragments of nursery rhymes

at 36 months, doesn’t ask questions

at 36 months, can’t be understood by strangers at least half the time

by 36 months, is unable to articulate initial consonants (for example, says "all" instead of "ball"

by 36 months, is unable to name most common household objects

3 to 4 years

at 3, can’t speak in short phrases

by 3, is unable to understand short instructions

at 3, has no interest in interacting with other children

at 3, has extreme difficulty separating from a parent

by 3 1/2, consistently fails to add final consonant to words (for example, saying "ca" instead of "cat")

at 4, still stutters (has true difficulty producing a sound or word) frequently, often accompanied by facial grimacing

at 4, isn’t almost fully understandable

What Can I Do To Help My Child Talk?

August 22nd, 2006 by audiyanti
What Can I Do To Help My Child Talk?
Dr. James MacDonnald
a professor of Speech and Language pathology and Developmental
disabilities
at the Ohio State University

I’ve worked with hundreds of parents and professionals whose main
desire was they wanted their child to talk. Many of them thought
that since their child had delays, getting her to talk meant
teaching her, like teaching numbers and other school-like things.

However, we have found that there’s a great deal of play, turn-
taking, and nonverbal communication needed before words are ready
to come. But for now, lets look at what parents can do once
their child is ready for words.

Use the guide below to prepare your child to be a frequent and
enjoyable talker.

PLAY FREQUENTLY in ways your child plays

BALANCE your times together; be sure both of you do about as much as
the other

WAIT FOR YOUR CHILD TO TALK; avoid doing all the talking

MATCH your child’s actions

MATCH your child’s communications, communicate in ways your child
can do

TALK AS MUCH AS YOUR CHILD DOES; then show him a next step

RESPOND to your child’s little sounds and actions as communications
at first

RESPOND MORE to your child’s words than gestures or sounds, after
he’s talking regularly

SHOW HIM WHAT TO SAY in one or two words

MAKE TALKING TIMES MORE PLAY THAN WORK

TRANSLATE your child’s own language of sounds and movements into A
WORD

DON’T RUSH YOUR CHILD TO WORDS; communicating with sounds come first

REDUCE YOUR QUESTIONS; show your child what to say instead

ACCEPT ANY PRONUNCIATIONS AT FIRST, he won’t talk like an adult
until he practices a lot

BECOME MORE OF A PLAY PARTNER THAN A TEACHER; your child will stay
and learn more

BE A LIVING DICTIONARY; put words on your child’s experiences as they
happen

Bagaimana menangani anak terlambat bicara

August 22nd, 2006 by audiyanti

Kalau menurutku begini ya. Sekalipun anak ini hanya mengalami gangguan dalam bahasa ekspresif (yang lain normal termasuk perkembangan kognitifnya), namun karena ia mengalami keterlambatan perkembangan bahasa, maka biasanya kelak saat masuk sekolah dasar ia juga mengalami ketertinggalan dalam kemampuan pelajaran membaca dan bahasa. Karena itu harus tetap diperhatikan, dan anak kelompok seperti ini kini di banyak negara sudah dimasukkan ke dalam kelompok anak berrisiko. Berrisiko artinya bukan berarti kelak akan mengalami gangguan (disabilities), tetapi ada risiko ke arah sana, walau belum tentu, tergantung perkembangannya bagaimana. Cara berpikir (cognitive style) anak anak ini juga akan berbeda dengan anak-anak lain. Sekalipun anak ini misalnya masih 20 bulan diberi tulisan, misalnya minum, lalu ia bisa mengikuti, dan jika ditanya lagi ia bisa mengikuti, maka jangan bahagia dahulu. Cara belajar membaca anak seperti ini sifatnya adalah visual, ia tidak mengerti artinya, karena perkembangan pemahaman maknanya juga belum berkembang. Dan lebih cilaka lagi kelak saat ia masuk sekolah, cara membacanya juga harus dirubah, yaitu dengan cara mengeja. Jadi kelak phonetik akan berperanan sekali. Artinya untuk anak di bawah 3 tahun, mohon jangan diajar-ajari membaca, jika ia terbiasa dengan cara seperti itu, akibatnya saat masuk sekolah dasar akan kesulitan membaca mengeja. Bisa baca dalam buku yang ditulis oleh Dr Mel Levine, sudah diterbitkan dalam bahasa Indonesia. Berilah stimulasi bicara, bukan hanya dengan mengajaknya bicara saja, membacakan buku, dlsb. Buatnya sulit menerima hal seperti ini, karena anak-anak terlambat bicara ini mengalami gangguan kemampuan pemrosesan auditory. Karena itulah ia terlambat bicara. Tetapi manfaatkan kemampuan lebihnya, yaitu yang suka menyanyi, ajaklah bicara sambil bernyanyi-nyanyi. Gunakan juga kemampuan lebihnya dalam visual, gunakan gambar-gambar tiga dimensi (bukan dua dimensi atau gambar hayal) karena perkembangan imajinasi dan fantasinya nya belum berkembang baik. Paling gampang adalah potret semua yang ada di sekitarnya, anggota keluarga, semua barang yang ada di rumah, di luar rumah dan seterusnya. Buatlah album spesial buatnya, biarkan tergeletak dimana mana agar ia sering bertemu dengan gambar itu, sebutkan satu satu apa yang ada dalam foto itu. Mengajaknya membaca untuk anak seusia ini juga kurang bisa diterimanya, selain rentang perhatiannya rendah, ia gak akan bisa menangkap sebuah kalimat panjang. Hal itu karena ia mempunyai kelemahan dalam pemrosesan informasi melalui auditory. Karena itu sebutkanlah kata-kata satu persatu. Bautlah kalimat pendek dalam dua atau tiga kata. Jangan beri perintah melebihi satu perintah, dia gak akan faham. Hitunglah jumlah kata yang dimiliki, pisahkan kata-kata tersebut dalam kelompok: kata benda, kata kerja, kata sambung, dan setrusnya. Jika sudah berjumlah sekitar 50 kata maka latihlah membentuk kalimat dalam dua kata, dan melanjut ke tiga kata…. Selanjutnya bisa baca dalam URL yang sudah saya kirim. Selamat mengasuh. Julia Maria

Gimana sih cara belajar baca dan kapan ? by Julia Maria Van Tiel

August 22nd, 2006 by audiyanti
Menyoal bagaimana mengajarkan membaca di Indonesia saya gak bisa
koment lah ya, soale banyak banget anak masih baru belajar
mbrangkang kok malah diajar membaca, kan namanya koprol dalam
perkembangannya.
Mustinya, normalnya anak belajar membaca itu kalau sudah usia di
atas 5-6 tahun. Ini konon ada kaitannya dengan pindahnya dominasi
belahan otak.
Dongengnya gini, duluuuu banget di tahun 70-an ada neurolog yang
punya hobby ngoprek otak, (namanya lupa saya males ngoprek bukunya
lagi deh ya). Dia mencoba melakukan percobaan pada bayi dengan
memberikan rangsangan bunyian, dan rangsangan visual. Alatnya
namanya lupa, malas ngoprek lagi… Hasil rangsangan ini diukur
dengan ya alat itu yang dapat menangkap aktivitas otak. Ternyata
pada bayi daerah yang aktif itu di belahan otak kanan, yaitu
terhadap rangsangan visual dan rangsangan musik. Karena itu lalu
dikatakan bahwa pada bayi akan lebih didominasi oleh otak sebelah
kanan. Otak sebelah kanan ini juga menyimpan informasi visual,
musik, indera, akan lebih lama, makanya disebut long term memori.
Bentuk informasi yang masuk akan lebih kuat jika melalui penglihatan
ketimbang dari telinga. Sebab kata-kata yang bentuknya berurutan itu
harus masuk melalui telinga yang diatur oleh otak sebelah kiri.

Dominasi otak hanya sebelah kanan tadi akan berlangsung hingga kira-
kira usia bayi 29 minggu, katanya. Lalu belahan otak kiri akan mulai
berfungsi. Kelak saat usia 6 tahun dominasi itu akan berpindah yang
tadinya didominasi sebelah kanan, kini mulai pindah ke sebelah kiri,
dan pergeseran ini akan berakhir di usia 10, untuk selanjutnya
manusia akan didominasi oleh otak sebelah kiri. Nah usia-usia ini
mulai bayi hingga 10, adalah usia yang kritis.

Makanya Bu Lea, jangan ngantor aja, pindah profesi jadi guru TK aja,
jadi bisa nonton anak-anak ini perkembangannya bagaimana.

Pada anak terlambat bicara yang kognitifnya baik, dominasi sebelah
kanan keterlaluan, hingga menyebabkan fungsi otak sebelah kiri jadi
kacau balau. Padahal otak sebelah kiri juga akan berpengaruh pada
tangan kanan untuk menulis. Makanya anak yang telat bicara kalau
nulis juga kacau balau, karena dia gak jelas tangan yang kuat yang
mana. Mau dibilang tangan kiri yang kuat, engga juga, mau dibilang
tangan kanan yang kuat juga engga. Karena itu tulisannya jelek
banget. Makannya juga acak-acakan.

Nah balik lagi ke soal belajar baca. Pada anak kecil saat masih
lebih banyak didominasi oleh belahan otak kanan, ia akan lebih mudah
belajar membaca dengan cara visual, yaitu seolah melihat logo. Jadi
tulisan dalam bentuk kata2 itu diingat-ingat dalam memori jangka
panjangnya seperti ia mengingat gambar/logo. Tapi tidak mengerti
sistem simbol sambung menyambung, bahwa ada huruf disambung sambung
jadi kata, kata disambung sambung jadi kalimat. Karena itu kalau ada
anak sudah kelas dua SD bisa baca cepat banget tapi gak ngerti
isinya,  artinya anak ini biasanya mengalami kesulitan belajar
(learning difficulty) sebagai akibat terlalu kuat pada belahan otak
kanan. Ia visual learner, namanya. Kalau disuruh imla seringkali
kacau balau, karena dia engga terbiasa menyambung nyambung huruf
jadi kata. Kalau dikasih teks terus ditanya apa yang dibaca engga
ngerti.

Sebaliknya ada juga yang membacanya terbata-bata, gara-gara gak bisa
mengeja. Membacanya gak pede. Karena kalau mau memahami apa yang
dibaca secara mengeja, harus diulang-ulang gak keruan.

Banyak ahli menganjurkan sebaiknya anak diajari membaca jika sudah
siap membaca, yaitu usia 5 -6 saat mana belahan otak kiri yang buat
mendengar runtutan bunyian kata sudah berfungsi baik. Begitu juga
ada perpindahan dari kanan ke kiri. Usia 5-6 ini memang usia yang
kritis banget, sebab kalau diajari nulis nulis di usia di bawah ini,
saat usia 5-6 disuruh nulis, maka hurupnya akan terbalik-balik. Jadi
kalau disuruh membaca juga malah kacau balau…

Karena itu anak yang terlambat bicara, dimana dominasi belahan otak
kanannya terlalu besar, maka selalu mengalami kekacauan membaca,
menulis, dan berhitung. Karena itu harus hati-hatilah sama anak-anak
ini.

Julia Maria

Celebrating your toddler’s second birthday

August 21st, 2006 by audiyanti
Celebrating your toddler’s second birthday
Last updated: July 2006

                                          

  By the BabyCenter editorial staff
Your toddler’s second birthday is coming up and you want to celebrate. But how? Read on for some general advice, and check out these specific party tips from other parents of 2-year-olds.

What your toddler’s ready for
As he heads for his second birthday, your toddler will probably be clingy and dependent one minute but mobile and freedom-seeking the next. While he’ll happily play alongside other children, your toddler won’t yet be truly social. This means the party isn’t really about inviting other kids for your child’s enjoyment — that will matter more at his third birthday. It’s more about celebrating with people who are important to your family.

Because your toddler can’t yet put himself in another child’s shoes, he may hit, bite, or snatch toys from his guests. If you think this may be an issue, arm yourself with strategies for heading off aggression and encouraging sharing. Things are likely to go more smoothly at a party with good adult supervision and not too many guests.

Who to invite
You’ll probably have close family on your list, and beyond that you may want to invite one or more other toddlers and their parents. An oft-quoted rule of thumb is to invite two children for your child’s second birthday, three for his third birthday, and so on. A good approach to determining the length of the guest list is to think about how your toddler has reacted to large and small gatherings in the past, and choose the size party you think he’ll be comfortable with.

Your toddler may want to help you choose invitations at the store or help you make them at home. Even something as simple as printing invitations on white paper and having your child decorate them with finger paints, crayons, or stickers will be a hit. And letting your toddler help can make him feel more prepared when the big day comes.

Choosing the time
Most children this age still take an afternoon nap, so take that into account when scheduling the party. You’ll probably want to pick a morning or late afternoon, and keep it short and sweet — an hour or two is ample time for toddlers and frazzled parents alike.

Choosing a place
Home is generally the easiest place to throw your child’s party, but if you have a lot of guests or your home isn’t the ideal place for hosting, you might want to try arranging an event at an indoor play area, a park, a local recreation center, a gymnastics school, a kids’ museum, a church hall, or a restaurant. Some places will do most of the party organizing for you, for a fee.

Choosing a theme
It’s not a necessary ingredient, but many 2-year-olds will be thrilled by a party theme based on a favorite character, toy, or animal. Imagine a Curious George theme, for example, with bananas as a snack, stuffed monkeys or Curious George books for decoration, paper plates with George’s face on them, and a cake shaped like a big yellow hat. Or a bug party, with butterfly-shaped invitations, a caterpillar cake, bug stickers for the guests, and a simple game in which toddlers dig in a bucket filled with dirt for prizes.

Get more creative ideas for these and other themes on the Kids Party Paradise Web site.

Food
If your party doesn’t happen at mealtime, you don’t have to worry much about food — a small snack and some drinks are plenty. If you’re feeding your guests lunch or dinner, small portions work best, like sandwiches shaped with cookie cutters, English muffin pizzas, bite-size pieces of fruit or cooked veggies, small crackers, and cupcakes. (If you’re mainly feeding adults, it’s easiest to plan a simple meal for them that can be fed in small pieces to the children, too.)

You’ll need enough highchairs or child-sized tables and chairs to accommodate all the kids. If that’s too much trouble, consider having a "picnic" on the floor. Food is bound to be spilled, so put a blanket or tablecloth down first. Spill-proof cups are a great idea, too.

Games and activities
It’s smart to have a few activities planned, but don’t worry if the kids end up brushing them off in favor of playing with various toys or bouncing from one thing at the party to another.

Most toddlers love dressing up, so you might want to have a box of clothes or costumes handy. Simple games or activities that kids can follow your lead on, like Ring Around the Rosey or dancing to music, also fill the bill. Toward the end of the party, you might want to read the kids a story in an effort to calm them down a bit before they head home.

Goody bags
By the age of 2, guests will appreciate a little goody bag. There’s no need to spend much — low-cost favors like crayons, plastic animals or figurines, matchbox cars, plastic bracelets, bubbles, or stickers will provide plenty of excitement and amusement.

Birthday presents
If your toddler opens his gifts in front of other children, be prepared to defuse flare-ups over sharing. If you decide to wait on presents until after the guests are gone, just be sure to send a thank you note to the gift-giver. Including a photo of your child opening or playing with the gift is a nice touch.

What should you give a just-turned-2-year-old? Here are a few possibilities. (For more ideas, see our gift list.)

• Push or pull toys, like a wagon, a doll stroller, or a mini shopping cart

• Role-play toys, like plastic foods and kitchen utensils, or a tea set

• Thinking toys, like puzzles or books

• Art supplies, like watercolors and construction paper

• Outdoor gear, like a ball or a kiddie pool

Prepare Falisha…Ibu is planning you birthday party !

-Audiyanti ibunya Falisha-

Pasar Tradisional

August 16th, 2006 by audiyanti

Pasar Tradisional

Kalau Ditata Bisa Juga Nyaman dan Bersih

R Adhi Kusumaputra

Selama ini, jika kita menyebut pasar tradisional, yang ada dalam benak kita adalah pasar yang kumuh, gelap, becek, bau, semrawut, dan banyak preman.

Bahkan banyak pasar yang kondisinya hidup segan mati tak mau, terimpit akibat kehadiran pusat ritel modern.

Tapi, sesungguhnya jika pasar tradisional dibangun dan dikemas menjadi bersih dan nyaman, pasar itu akan menarik banyak pembeli. Percaya atau tidak, berdasarkan catatan Asosiasi Pedagang Pasar Seluruh Indonesia (APPSI), dari 13.000-an pasar tradisional di Indonesia dengan 12,6 juta pedagang, hanya ada segelintir pasar tradisional yang dikemas menjadi pasar bersih dan nyaman.

Salah satunya adalah Pasar Modern di Bumi Serpong Damai (BSD), Tangerang, Banten, pionir pasar tradisional dengan wajah modern. Pasar tradisional yang dibangun di atas lahan seluas 2,6 hektar dan diresmikan Juli 2004 itu langsung mendapat penghargaan dari APPSI Desember 2005 sebagai "pasar ideal".

Dengan lantai keramik, ventilasi penerangan alami dan berkipas angin, pasar yang memiliki 303 lapak, 320 kios dan 100 ruko, serta 52 kafe tenda (hanya sore-malam hari) ini tampak bersih, nyaman, dan aman. Yang menarik, meski "dikepung" enam pusat ritel besar, pasar tradisional berwajah modern ini tetap ramai. Enam pusat ritel itu adalah Hypermart (WTC Matahari Serpong), Superindo (BSD Plaza), Giant (Melati Mas), Carrefour (ITC BSD), Makro (Alam Sutera), dan Alfa (Bintaro).

Banyaknya pembeli kelas menengah ke pasar ini dapat terlihat dari jumlah mobil ke pasar ini, rata-rata 70.000-80.000 per bulan, lebih banyak dibandingkan pembeli bersepeda motor yang jumlahnya hanya separuhnya.

"Pasar modern BSD layak menjadi acuan seluruh pasar tradisional di Indonesia karena pengelolaannya sangat profesional meski dilakukan pihak swasta. Kami memberi apresiasi terhadap kebersihan, keamanan di pasar, juga keteraturan dan kedisiplinan pedagang," kata Direktur Eksekutif APPSI M Dharma beberapa waktu lalu.

Para pembeli di pasar modern BSD umumnya kelas menengah yang merindukan adanya transaksi tawar-menawar, berkomunikasi dengan penjual. Mereka datang dari Bintaro, Pamulang, Ciputat, Karawaci, Cinere, bahkan Kelapa Gading.

Inilah yang sebenarnya dicari. Sebab, selama ini kita disodori supermarket, pasar swalayan, di mana pembeli tinggal memilih barang dan kemudian membayarnya di kasir.

Yang menyedihkan, di seluruh antero Jakarta, dari 151 pasar tradisional dengan 30.000-an pedagang, tak ada satu pasar tradisional pun yang dapat dibanggakan. Di Bogor, Depok, Tangerang, dan Bekasi (Bodetabek) terdapat 400 pasar tradisional dengan lebih dari 160.000 pedagang.

Kondisi ribuan pasar tradisional ini, kata Dharma, semua serupa. "Tak dapat dibanggakan dan hanya menjadi tempat spekulan melakukan jual beli kios,"

katanya. Retribusi yang dipungut terhadap pedagang mencapai tiga-empat kali dalam sehari, antara Rp 500 hingga Rp 3.000. Artinya, biaya retribusi Rp 9.000 hingga Rp 12.000 per hari per pedagang. Ini tentunya menjadi beban bagi para pedagang tradisional, yang umumnya pedagang kecil.

Merebut hati pembeli

Salah satu pasar tradisional berwajah modern yang dapat menjadi model bagi pasar tradisional di Indonesia adalah pasar modern BSD. Ini terbukti dari kunjungan studi banding pemkot, pemkab, dan DPRD dari Bogor, Cirebon, Lebak, Semarang, Lampung, Sidoarjo, Tasikmalaya, dan instansi lainnya.

Lampung bahkan sudah mengadopsi pasar BSD dan membangun pasar serupa di wilayahnya.

Bagaimana sebenarnya pasar ini dikelola? "Awalnya Pasar Modern BSD dibangun untuk merevitalisasi pasar tradisional yang kumuh dan becek, guna memenuhi kebutuhan ratusan ribu warga BSD dan sekitarnya. Dibangun di lahan seluas

2,6 hektar, pasar ini langsung merebut hati pembeli kelas menengah dan menengah atas," kata Corporate Public Relations General Manager BSD City, Dhony Rahajoe.

Ternyata, suasana akrab pembeli dan pedagang, transaksi jual beli dengan tawar-menawar inilah yang dicari. Banyak orang sudah bosan dengan keadaan di pasar swalayan dan ritel besar yang "dingin", tanpa komunikasi.

Pengamatan Kompas, suasana belanja di pasar ini terlihat lebih manusiawi.

Ny Chung (64), misalnya, ketika berbelanja sayur sawi putih dengan entengnya meminta bonus satu jeruk. "Saya jarang membeli sayur-mayur di supermarket karena tak bisa memilah dan memilih," kata perempuan yang selalu naik sepeda dari rumahnya ke pasar tersebut.

Pedagang pasar, Ny Lilis (30), hanya tertawa ketika ada pembeli yang minta "bonus" seperti itu. "Yah, besok pasti dia kembali lagi. Ini kan cara untuk menyenangkan pembeli," kata Lilis yang memiliki dua lapak, dengan pendapatan sehari rata-rata Rp 1 juta dan pada Sabtu-Minggu menjadi Rp 1,5 juta.

Ny Irene (45), warga Nusa Loka BSD, mengatakan, sayuran di pasar ini lebih segar. "Enaknya dapat menawar harga," katanya.

Pedagang ayam, Budyanto, setiap hari menjual 200-350 ayam jantan dan rata-rata selalu habis pada pukul 13.00. Pendapatan kotornya rata-rata Rp 120 juta per bulan dari penjualan ayam jantan. Ini membuktikan betapa pasar tradisional berwajah modern ini memberi kehidupan bagi mereka dan keluarganya.

Ini juga diakui Dian Muskita (48), pemilik toko makanan Oenpao, yang lebih memilih membuka kios di pasar ini dibandingkan di mal. "Di mal, harga sewa lebih mahal, sekitar Rp 500.000 per m2 per bulan. Keuntungan hanya habis untuk membayar sewa. Sedangkan di pasar tradisional berwajah modern di BSD ini saya membayar sewa lima kios seluruhnya Rp 32 juta per tahun," kata Muskita, lulusan S2 Universitas Koeln Jerman.

Modal awalnya Rp 30 juta, dapat ditutupnya hanya dalam waktu 9 bulan. Tiga bulan berikutnya ia menyewa kios baru dan tiga bulan setelah itu menyewa kios untuk kantor dan gudang. "Yang juga membuat pasar ini aman dan nyaman adalah pasar ini bebas pungli, tidak seperti pasar-pasar tradisional lainnya yang dipenuhi preman atau jagoan pasar," kata Koordinator Pengelolaan Pasar Modern BSD, Anda Saenan.

Sewa lapak kering Rp 330.000 per bulan, lapak basah Rp 440.000 per bulan.

Sewa diberikan kepada pengelola pasar. Sedangkan sewa kios ukuran 3 x 4 m dan 3 x 3 m rata-rata Rp 10 juta hingga Rp 12 juta per tahun, tergantung lokasi. Sewa dibayarkan ke pemilik kios.

Sangat jarang memang ada pasar tradisional yang memikat para pembeli yang sebagian besar kelas menengah. Seandainya pemerintah daerah merevitalisasi pasar-pasar tradisional di kota masing-masing dengan wajah modern dan dikelola profesional, citra pasar tradisional akan lebih baik dan akan banyak pembeli kelas menengah, yang selama ini lebih suka belanja di mal, beralih ke pasar tradisional yang lebih manusiawi.

Pengen nulis tapi…..

August 7th, 2006 by audiyanti

Lisha_bule_hp Daritadi memandangi halaman putih kosong ini aja ! Pengen nulis tapi gak tau mau nulis apa. Mau cerita tapi daritadi bingung yang mana yang mau diceritain, lagi gak jelas perasaan nih.

Kadang kita memang harus mengalah dengan takdir, harus pasrah dan ikhlas kuncinya. Sehebat apapun kita mempersiapkan segala sesuatu sesuai keinginan kita, seberapa besar pun perngorbanan dan usaha yang telah kita berikan untuk mewujudkan keinginan kita itu, tetap hasil akhirnya ada pada Allah SWT.

Kehidupanku telah berkali - kali menunjukkan hal itu, tapi yang namanya manusia, tetap saja aku masih bermimpi dan dengan yakin merasa bahwa aku bisa mewujudkan mimpi itu. Soalnya kalo gak gitu, kita jadi gak termotivasi untuk memberikan yang terbaik khan ?

Contohnya keinginanku saat ini, adalah sesuatu yang benar - benar di luar kuasaku sebagai manusia biasa. Namun dengan segala alasan dan harapan aku tetap yakin bahwa keinginanku ini bisa terwujud. Aku sadar Allah sedang mengujiku. Hanya karena hal itu pernah terjadi sekali, tidak berarti yang kedua kalinya akan lebih mudah. Hanya karena aku telah bersiap sejak lama secara lahir dan batin, tidak berarti dalam hitunganku segalanya akan terwujud.

Jadi ingat kata ustadzahku tempo hari, kedekatan kita dengan Allah hanya kita yang tahu. Seberapa banyak doa kita yang diijabahnya, hanya kita yang dapat merasakan. Seberapa banyak cobaan yang diangkat dari dada kita dan dipermudah penyelesaiannya, hanya kita yang bisa menghitungnya. Seberapa besar pengorbanan jiwa raga dan harta kita di jalan Allah pun hanya kita yang bisa mengukur keikhlasannya. Sungguh kita tidak layak membohongi diri kita sendiri padahal kita tahu apa yang sebenarnya ada dalam hati. Kenapa kita masih terus menerus mengingkarinya ? Cuma kita yang bisa meresapi alasannya.

Sebagai manusia yang punya emosi dan nafsu, sulit sekali rasanya bersikap pasrah akan hasil dari kerja keras kita. Sulit sekali menjadi ikhlas atas prestasi yang kita raih akibat usaha kita yang habis-habisan. Sulit sekali mengukur bahwa apa yang kita lakukan tidak seberapa dengan manusia lainnya yang berjuang demi sesuap nasi setiap hari tanpa tahu apa yang bisa dimakannya esok hari. Tapi di sudut hati kita yang terdalam, kemampuan untuk menghamba itu ada. Tinggal bagaimana kita mampu menggali dan mengaktualisasikannya dalam hidup.

Kini aku mau belajar bersabar dan ikhlas atas segala usahaku. Bahwa setiap usaha itu tidak berujung pada suatu hasil yang dapat kita lihat atau nikmati, itulah hukum alam ini. Tanpa kita sadari mungkin usaha kita telah memberi manfaat bagi orang lain, wallahu’alam. Semoga Allah meringankan pikiran dan hatiku agar mau bersabar, terus berusaha dan berdoa serta pasrah dan ikhlas atas segala usahaku untuk mewujudkan keinginanku.

Amin.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

August 7th, 2006 by audiyanti

Iceworl_018 When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided,"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend." Dsc01216